Jayken's Chronicle

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Jayken is Dead

Gone!
Jayken, Wins17 are no more...

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Pain

"My life is completely destroyed".
"Why should I live?", "what more should i face?"
"I can't take it anymore", "God Please take me away"

I was hearing the same words echoing in my mind. The same words which I used to tell myself. But it wasn't me who was talking now, but a colleague with whom I travel, rather I would call him my friend. The agony, the pain, the suffering was summed up with tears flowing from the edge of his watery eyes.

I could understand that pain. The pain of losing a loved one. The pain of losing someone whom you loved more than your life. The pain of losing someone who gave you this life. The pain of losing a dad. The pain of losing a mom. The pain of losing a wife. The pain of losing a friend. The pain of losing your life.

I know wat it is.

Mere words can't describe that state. Sometimes god takes away these loved ones, sometimes they chose to take themselves away from you. Nevertheless, you and only you will understand what that person meant to you, not even that soul you lost in life. Being there and having undergone that, I was able to empathize with him.

Million times a second you'd wish you'd never existed.
Billion times you'd pray you'd wake up dead.
Trillion questions will rankle your brains.

Yet, you'll get no answer. NOTHING!

You need to live with those vicarious feelings and you'd try to be happy by seeing others being happy. You'd think you are one of those soul who was never meant to be happy. You'd feel you've been cursed. You need to undergo just pain. You'd feel your life will never be the same ever again. You'd lose faith in god. You'd lose interest in life.

You'd be me!

For all those ppl who had envied either me or my friend for what we were in our lives, Only one thing I would say. Thank God that you were lucky that you were never one of us, cos it isn't life we are living, rather death we are dying.

Pray for those souls whom we'd lost and do please pray for my friend for GOD to give him strength.

This is a post to all those souls whom I had lost and who doubt my existence.

I am still alive...

Monday, August 28, 2006

So Long!

I quit chatting,
I quit orkutting,
I quit messaging,
I quit my cell phone,

Thanks one and all,

Take Care

Bye!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Why?

I've heard and i've read... god will punish those who commit sin.

I've also heard, things happen and will happen the way god wants to happen.

If both are true, they both are absolutely contradictory statements.
Which is true?
Will god punish those sinners?
If god wanted these ppl to become sinners why should he punish them?

WHY?

Friday, July 28, 2006

Father's Love

Fighting to get up from bed early morning around 8, I wake up at the sound of my ringing phone. My old friend gives me a call to find out whether everything was alright. I had scared her the previous night with the kind of mood I was in. I spoke to her. She tried to help me by saying some good words still the harsh way, cos that way people think it might just sink in. She closed the call after 10 mins of pep talk.

Watching my face in the mirror, reluctant to go to office, I took my toothbrush and carelessly brushed my teeth for the sake of it. Sitting idle and with a blank mind, without any control over my thoughts I was wondering how much better life would be, if things go the way I wanted it to. Still trying to accept reality I keep fighting every second, every minute, every hour, every single day.

9AM, my dad calls me for breakfast, a rarity these days with heavy work load we both have to cope up with. Gulping the food I saw on my plate, I didn't even bother to notice what I had eaten. 9:20, Me and my dad leave home.

My office is in shols and I had to take up the MTC to reach office that day since I missed my early morning route bus. Daddy dropped me at the railway station from where I had to catch a train and then the ultimate journey with the local MTC. I ended up boarding a crowded bus at saidapet. Construction workers, school children, electricians, lazy rather i should say tired software engineers who missed their regular route buses cos they came home late and slept (I can empathize better cos I am one of them), Market Shopkeepers and regular co workers were part of the crowd. I sometimes feel really uncomfortable standing with these people who sometimes don't even know the manners of how to behave in such crowded situations. You get to see the selfish attitude of men and women who jump from one place to the other in search of a seat not bothered about how they get there stamping and pushing others.

Someone pushed me from the back and I turn back to see the face of that unruly man. To my surprise I saw a beautiful young girl hugging her father with a scared look on her face. I started observing the kid and her father. She happened to be a 3 to 4 year old kid, who had just now joined school, new pairs of shinning black shoes, new uniform , new hairband, a dummy watch to match the style and an amazingly cute bag with sir mickey mouse on top. Her father on the other hand, an old Shirt which he would have bought 4 to 5 years ago, an old pair of slippers, no watch... okay let me not get too much into details here. He looked like a man fighting for survival everyday with a meager amount of salary he gets and that salary would be enough for the present living. His daughter on the other hand looks like a girl from a well educated family with her dress and appearance to add to her class.

A contrast! I couldn't believe that man would be her dad. Believe me. He was her dad.

I saw Love and nothing but real Love. There was no place to stand in that bus, but still that man got into the bus to make sure his daughter gets to reach her school on time. The girl couldn't stand down, fearing the large crowd inside the bus, she clung on to her papa's throat and closed her eyes. One hand holding the girl. The other hand holding her school bag and her lunch bag, this man did the act of balancing to perfection. His aim was to get his daughter on time to school no matter what. He did just that. 15 mins in the bus struggling to stand steady with the driver occasionally pressing the brakes. The stop arrived and he got down with his kid still clutching his throat and her eyes still closed. Her father made sure she felt none of the discomfort he felt. As soon as he got down, there was her school. He slowly and carefully let his daughter down. She opened her eyes, realised she had reached her school, took her bag, gave her daddy a kiss, said byebye with her cute little hands and went in. As she was waving her hand, my bus had to take a right turn and I missed what happened next.

Now you guys might be wondering whats the big deal about this little episode.

It talks a great deal about father's love. We often hear articles which speaks about mother's love, not very often we hear about father's love. So I thought I'll pen down one after this incident. This man, who doesn't happen to have a hefty salary, sacrificed all that he had to make sure his daughter lives a happy life. She goes to school where she would meet 100s of other gals and boys dress up equally good, worse or better. At her age, she might not be able to find the difference of all this. But her dad made sure she feels equal with all other kids at school.

He is great.
Thats father's love!

Have a nice day!

Friday, June 30, 2006

Mission of Man, Possible or Impossible?

I was discussing "Have you seen GOD, yet? " a forward with my friends and was trying to get their views on my all time favorite topic :-)

GOD

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... really sleepy... after spending almost 33 hours in OFFICE I am writing this blog... really sleepy fellows :-)

Okay.. let me come to the point... It was one of those weird topics I got into with one of my good friends. I was asking him about the movie called "Ambe Sivam" and kamals famous dialogue crossed my mind " Namma ellarum kadavul ". The next question that would rack my mind would be to ask the person sitting next to me " What do you think about that statement? ". I've spend hours and literally days talking about GOD.

This is what I got as a reply from him...

" I don't agree to what that Kamal says, I hate him. Such an arrogant fellow he is....... (there he goes blasting Kamal...CENSORED)...." " Now about God, The reason I don't agree to Kamal is this, we are all born as human beings is because we are not God. God wants us to be close to him, so he makes us live on this earth and tests us to see how we live. The lesser the sins we make the closer we go to God. That is it!"

A beautiful thought I felt I would share with you all.

Now its time to justify the Title of this particular post, Mission of man.. Possible or Impossible?
The answer can't be said in mere words, it takes a life time to answer this question.

JACK, this is just a small favor I could do ;-)

U rock
(Name Changed on request... Ha ha he he ho ho.. ;-)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Friends!

This blog is especially dedicated to all my friends, whom i've met, meeting and yet to meet.

Good Friends Are Hard To Find.
Good Friends Are Easy To Love.
Good Friends Are Presents
That Last Forever And That Feel Like Gifts From Above

Good Friends Are One In A Million.
Good Friends Are Stories To Share.
Good Friends Know The Path To Your Happiness,
And They Walk With You All The Way There.

Good Friends Are Lives Overlapping.
Good Friends Are Laughter And Tears.
Good Friends Are Emotions So Deep That The Trust Just Keeps Growing Over The Years.

Good Friends Are Hard To Find.
Good Friends Are Easy To Adore.
And You've Been Such A Good Friend To Me
...That I Could Ask For Nothing More.

Thanks to you all !

Fathers Day - Truly Special :-)

QUOTES ABOUT DAD

"A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again." -- Enid Bagnold
"It no longer bothers me that I may be constantly searching for father figures; by this time, I have found several and dearly enjoyed knowing them all." -- Alice Walker
"None of you can ever be proud enough of being the child of SUCH a Father who has not his equal in this world-so great, so good, so faultless. Try, all of you, to follow in his footsteps and don't be discouraged, for to be really in everything like him none of you, I am sure, will ever be. Try, therefore, to be like him in some points, and you will have acquired a great deal." -- Victoria, Queen of England
"That is the thankless position of the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all." -- J. August Strindberg
"It is a wise father that knows his own child." -- William Shakespeare
"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was." -- Anne Sexton
"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters." -- English Proverb
"To be a successful father . . . there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years." -- Ernest Hemingway
"A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father." -- Gabriel García Márquez
"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." -- Sigmund Freud
"I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example." -- Mario Cuomo
"Be kind to thy father, for when thou wert young,
Who loved thee so fondly as he?
He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue,
And joined in thy innocent glee."
-- Margaret Courtney
"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right." -- Bill Cosby
"Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!" -- Lydia M. Child